Anonymous Asks: Have you ever hooked up with somebody based on their proximity to your phone?

Dear Anonymous,

Of course I have. What do you take me for? A sloth? (I am assuming sloths move too slow to hook up ever.)

But here’s the thing I need to admit: I never really enjoyed it. That’s why my time on the gay apps was fairly short-lived. I feel the same way about hookups as I do about eating dessert. If I am gonna do it, it needs to be worth it. And I found that I just didn’t have much chemistry with the few guys I linked up with over proximity.

I really like sex to feel sexy. And these quick hook ups on the apps never really felt sexy to me. It made the sex feel forced and as if I were doing errands. It would be like “Okay, I am gonna go to the gym and then I am gonna stop and pick up the dry cleaning. Then, I’ll mess around with this guy and then swing by the grocery store and then I’ll be home.”

I have no judgments about guys hooking up on apps. Probably 90% of the people I know do it and I couldn’t give two shakes. But, for me personally, this just doesn’t do it for me. That being said, I also don’t get laid a lot because of this.

Cheers,

Scott
Bare InkSlinger