Chris Asks: What would you do if you found out the person you were juuuuust about to get with was F-to-M?

Hi Chris,

That’s an interesting question, but not a difficult one. It has come up in my life before. Back when I used the gay apps (many many years ago), I chatted with this handsome gent. Not longer after we flirted, he told me he was F-to-M. While this did change the scenario, I didn’t write it him off. I still wanted to meet up. I asked him to take things slow as it was new for me and when I told him this, he absolutely understood and was so gracious. Alas, we never did meet up. He is now in a relationship with another guy I know and they are very happy.

His being upfront quickly really helped me find interest in exploring new territory. But if he had done it differently and not told me until after I got to his home, things would play out differently. I feel like it would have been like those times where someone ends up being 10 years older or 30 lbs heavier than their photo.

In these instances, I would have been fine if they were older or heavier in their profile. But the fact that they misrepresented this until actually meeting would be the turn off - not their age or weight. Same would go for someone who did not reveal their gender as F-to-M until meeting in person. The reason I am giving this scenario is because I really think it is so important for people to be upfront about themselves on the apps. Rarely has anyone had a great outcome after misrepresenting themselves beforehand.


Bare InkSlinger