Hani Asks: When you love someone, how do you show him you love him without scaring him away?

Hey Hani,

Without knowing your exact situation, it’s hard to say. Is this a friend who you have fallen in love with? Or is it someone you are newly dating?

In either case, when it comes to love, the trick is to balance your emotional heart with your rational mind. Letting our feelings dictate our actions is always highly risky and oftentimes doesn’t work out the way we fantasize. This is not always a bad thing as long as you can sit back and reflect on what rational thinking you may not have taken into account and use it as a learning lesson for the future.

If this is a scenario with a friend, then I would say to tell him rather than “show” him. Don’t be passive about it as that might make the situation more confusing for the both of you. He may not understand what all the gestures mean and the miscommunication might leave you frustrated. The word “love” can be very strong, so it might be wise to say that you care about him more than a friend. If you don’t get the response you want, use the experience to learn and grow.

If this is a scenario with someone you are newly dating, then “showing” love with gestures would be more appropriate. But again, don’t let your heart take you too far down the rabbit hole. Put yourself into his shoes and do only things that you’d feel comfortable with someone doing for you. Again, don’t make the goal to confess love, but more so make it a “deep sense of caring” that you'd like to take further.

Best of luck,

Bare InkSlinger