archives

July/Aug/Sept 2018

09/04/18 Pride And Passports When I had to get a photo taken for my new passport, it ended up being quite possibly my ugliest photo ever. In the wake of my injured pride, I had a small freakout. But was my reaction a normal one or had I become more vain than I realized?

Please note: this blog was on hiatus during July and August so that I could finish writing my first book.
This book will be released in the spring of 2019. Thank you.

 

April/May/June 2018

06/26/18 Kitten On A Curtain When summer hit, my manic enthusiasm caused me to get a little carried away.  Now, in my short-sightedness, I have to make some sacrifices and face the consequences.

06/12/18 The Taxation of Taxation Taxes suck. There. I said it. Are your minds blown? Though, the thing is that they especially suck when you want to be a business. The more I tried to learn, the stupider I felt and tore myself up about it. But when I didn’t give up, something happened that I could only describe via a Super Nintendo analogy.

05/29/18 I Won't Grow Up (by Casey Coppess) When hair loss happened to Casey, he panicked (like any of us) in trying to figure out how to fix it. But it wasn’t until he got his yoga certification that he realized a different way to approach the downsides of growing up. 

05/15/18 Boxing With Bad Body Image When a reader wrote in about his annoyance with "hot guys" preaching self-acceptance, it became an issue I wanted to tackle. But exploring it reminded me of my own battles with body image and the reasons I want others to find peace as well. NSFW Version Available.

05/01/18 To Hell In A Comfort Zone When I stayed at my comfy job for a little too long, I began to get sore. Instead of finding new comfort in a lateral move, I decided to jump ship and pursue a dream instead. But doing this meant abandoning all comfort entirely and it didn't turn out quite like I thought it would.

04/17/18 Butterflies And BBQs I am one of those social butterflies who can just as easily be a wallflower. And last summer, two BBQs popped up that conflicted in both our schedules and in my dual sides. But when we figured out a compromise, something unexpected happened.

04/03/18 The Valentine's Day Grinch No one loathed Valentine's day more than me. So when I got an odd job offer for the holiday, I wondered if it would help my attitude. But then something else happened that changed my grinchy heart far more than I expected.

 

Jan/Feb/Mar 2018

03/13/18 Freedom 2018 (by Leland Coffee) When things look perfect for someone, you never know what's really happening on the inside. To everyone else, Leland Coffey had it all. But within a couple of years, "it all" vanished. Leland tells the story of going from perfection to isolation and how he is humbly turning it all around. NSFW Version Available.

02/27/18 Surfing Into The Unknown When my partner and I couldn't afford a necessary trip, I pushed us into a freaky travel alternative. I remained hopeful while he remained concerned. Would it be a huge mistake or the best thing we ever did? 

02/13/18 A Thin-Skinned Remedy How do we handle internet haters? When someone recently posted a vile comment on an Instagram photo, my own response shocked me. In figuring out how I did this, I wondered if I stumbled across a new way to solve being a little thin-skinned. NSFW Version Available.  

01/30/18 A Funeral For A Birthday Every year for my birthday, I struggle to figure out what to do. This last year's plans seemed almost disappointing. But my whole perspective changed when I had to go to a funeral that same afternoon.

01/16/18 Drawn To Something New  I'm accustomed to stripping down and posing for still life art groups. But when some handsome friends of mine decided to do it too, I took it as an opportunity to try something I dreaded: sitting on the other side with the pencil in my hand and facing my fear of drawing. NSFW Version Available.  

12/03/18 Jet Setter Setback  In 2017, I discovered a trick that allowed me, and my partner, to fly for free. I began to take as much advantage of it as I could. But right when I became a total jet setter, I discovered that all of this free travel ended up having a different kind of cost.  

 

oct/nov/dec 2017

12/05/17 Unprofessional Decency  If I get an opportunity to do a photoshoot, I try to be as professional as possible. But when I recently shot with Drew in San Diego, I thought I made a fool of myself and ruined the whole thing. As it turned out, my embarrassing mistake became an opportunity for something even better than great photos. NSFW Version Available

11/21/17 Bring Cash, Pay The Dancers (by Dave Wheeler)  Dave and his friend's hit up a male strip club for a fun night out... only to have it fall flat. Just as they were going to throw in the towel, a special dancer came along and changed everything. Dave bares it all in the first guest post on Bare InkSlinger! NSFW Version Available

11/07/17 The Worst-Case-Scenario-er  When I found out that fixing my septum would be more than a "simple procedure," I panicked for all the wrong reasons.  But in my terrible thinking, I never predicted the one thing that actually went wrong.

10/24/17 Netwerrrk!  I've been struggling to polish off my networking skills as a writer. Thus when I encountered one of the most famous people in my genre, I got totally freaked out about having to approach him. I sucked it up and faced my fear. But was the introduction a success or did I totally blow it?

10/10/17 Folsom: The Final Frontier  When I went to Folsom Street Fair for the first time, I thought it might be my naughty final frontier. But the more I searched for this ultimate experience, the more I began to miss out on one of the best parts. NSFW Version Available

 

July/Aug/Sept 2017

9/26/17 Workplace Rejection  When a friend recommended me for my prospective dream job, the final decision turned me into an emotional wreck. I struggled to cope in a healthy way, but eventually discovered that nothing is ever what it seems.

8/29/17 An AIDS Walk Asshole  After this year's AIDS Walk had it's lowest turn out ever, I had some ideas on how to spice things up. But as the old adage says: "Actions speak louder than words." Except what if words are all you have left to give?

8/15/17 A Watched Clock Always Boils  When I took an adult education class, things quickly got dominated by one particular student. As the clock ran out, I began to lose my cool, and ended up taking it out on the wrong person. 

7/25/17 Ballin Like a Blogger  Money is a weird thing and sometimes, as a blogger, it's easier to not discuss how we make an income. But in the tradition of baring it all, this week's essay explains the top ways bloggers earn their incomes and my own s̶i̶n̶i̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ sensible plans to do the same. NSFW Version Available

7/11/17 Ask and Ye Shall Achieve  When I met one of my favorite musicians, I wanted more than just an autograph. But would she oblige to my request or turn me down? Afterwards I learned the real value of asking and what it truly entails.

 

April/May/June 2017

06/27/17 Giving the Right Amount of Fucks  When I realized a guy at my gym didn't like me, I became a little too desperate to change his mind. In a culture where we boast about "no fucks given," it's hard to tell when we might accidentally be giving more fucks than ever.

06/13/2017 A Pulsating Need for Pride  After having been a little too close to The Pulse Nightclub shooting, we suddenly got whisked away without any community to help us process the events. It was left up to us to find our peers and with it came a new sense of Pride... but also a realization about one of the gay communities bigger and stealthier threats. 

05/30/17 InstaSwindled  Trying to find an audience on Instagram has been an incredibly tricky process. In a desperate attempt to boost followers, I made a stupid mistake that lost me some dollars.  NSFW Version Available.

05/16/17 Lessons In Losing  When losing a game, we have the opportunity to learn good sportsmanship. But what can you learn when you lose an entire human being? After the loss of a friend-of-a-friend, I discovered just how influential someone could be even if you technically weren't that close to them. 

05/01/17 Fear of the Neti Pot  When I came down a cold, my partner convinced me to do something terrifying: use a neti pot.  With a less-than-desirable first round, I decided to give it a second chance on camera.  Video Available 

04/24/17 Apologizing Without Compromising  A few weeks ago, I came to a crossroads when my blog fell into the wrong hands.  I needed to figure out where I made my mistake and how to make amends while still standing by work and writing. 

04/17/17 The Perks of Being Sex Positive  During a recent argument, a friend said harsh things that flew in the face of sex positivity. In the wake of my frustrations, I discovered why such a perspective does me so good. NSFW Version Available

04/10/17 The Best Worst Vacation Ever  Recently we took a last minute vacation to Las Vegas. But when one disastrous thing happened after another, I started to throw in the towel on having a good time. That is until I figured out the retreat's biggest spoiler. 

 

Jan/Feb/Mar 2017

03/29/17 Gold Star Be Gone  Being a gold star gay was merely a fact: I’d never slept with a woman. But recently I met a couple who could change that. However I'd have to make the first move. Would I successfully lose my gold star or would I get rejected?

03/17/17 Confronting Fear and Becoming A Badass  When a reader asked how I have the courage to face fears, I had no choice but to turn it into it's own post.  It's not so much about how you do it, but rather how you think about it. 

3/08/17 Painted By Numbers  When I got asked to pose for Tony Dortch, I was totally willing to strip down in order to get painted up. But what turned out more fascinating than his artistic vision was actually Tony himself. NSFW Version Available

03/02/17 Adventures In Adderall  My bad brain rarely wants to cooperate with me. And since it’s starting to interfere with my ability to even hold a conversation, I decided the time had come to do what my mom thankfully didn’t: reach for the pills.

02/10/17 Dealing With The Dealers  After getting in a totally stupid car accident, we decided to run over to the dealership to check out some options. But the whole thing became the cliche circus I had always heard about.

02/02/17 Inked With Integrity  When my fear of my HIV diagnosis led to me getting subpar quality tattoo work, I didn’t want to make that mistake again. So I gave up my emotional assurance and went back to higher-rated artists at the risk of rejection. NSFW Version Available

01/19/17 PAP SMEARS: Not Just For The Ladies!  When it comes to bodily testings, it seems that women get the short end of the stick. But sometimes the men also need to be searched on the inside to ensure a long and healthy life on the outside.

01/13/17 Forgetting to Do Unto Your Friends  I felt a tad let down that my mother wasn’t engaging in my latest project.  Meanwhile, I had been doing the same thing to my friend over what could have been the last couple of years.

 

Oct/Nov/Dec 2016

12/29/16 Letting The Hater Hate  Hater’s find the negative and automatically express it. I wanted to respond to his comments somehow. But creating a teachable moment for them wasn't the proper way to deal with it.

12/23/16  A Little Opiate Called Christmas  I’ve always had a rebellious side and it has made me a bit of a scrooge about Christmas.  But now I was going to miss out on the thing I might have been needing the most. 

12/19/16  Posing Naked: The Good Kind of Awkward  When someone asked if getting photographed while naked was awkward, the answer was “yes." But sometimes getting awkward actually gets really great. NSFW Version Available

12/08/16 One Bad Card Makes The House Come Tumbling Down  Life can feel like building a house of cards. But all it takes is one bad card to make it all come tumbling down.  If we can't purge the card, here is what we can do. NSFW Version Available

12/01/16  World AIDS Day: The Need To Open Up About HIV  Clearing the air can help stop that cycle of confusion, misinformation, mistrust, and hurt.  But airs cannot be cleared until conversations are willing to be had.

11/29/16  The Little Blogger That Could  I have done everything in my power to properly protest the idea of writing a blog. Now I am actually doing it and it looks awesome and I can’t wait to do more.