When two friends of mine recently (and nerve-wrackingly) agreed to pose for a gay erotic drawing group, I decided to take this opportunity to face one of my own nerve-wracking fears as well. Unfortunately, this didn’t mean I would be stripping down with them. Rather, I’d be sitting on the other side, trying to sketch out all their sexy, lusty, thirst-inducing poses.
While I may be able to write a decent story, I pretty much have no other artistic ability. I can’t even write with a pen like a normal person, much less draw a picture. Honestly… if I tried to draw a cute, baby seal diving into the ocean, I’m certain it would somehow look like a zeppelin hurling downward into a fiery death. But when you have two handsome friends willing to get naked and pose together for the sake of art, it helps to run towards such fear and try something new.
If you’ve been following me for even, like, thirty seconds, it should come as no surprise that I have posed for this group many times over the last seven years. I’d always choose acquaintances or friends that I found really attractive; but never had sex with. To me, nothing creates better sexual tension than getting naked with someone for the first time.
These friends and I could feel each other’s hearts beat wildly in each other’s chests as we’d embrace each other’s bodies in the buff... in front of fifteen people. We’d be so close to doing things we so badly wanted, and yet we couldn’t go a single inch further in order to hold still for our onlookers.
And that was one aspect that had me intrigued about my friends who were now posing. They wouldn’t be getting naked together for the first time. Logan and Greg were actually a couple, and I wondered how their dynamic would differ from the way I pose with other guys. It also didn’t hurt that both of them are very handsome.
Therefore, when I found out about their posing for this group, I figured it was a win/win situation - though both wins would be for me. I could get out of my comfort zone by trying to draw AND it also gave me an innocent excuse to see two sexy friends get naked.
Like a total art pro, I brought a stack of printer paper and a few mechanical pencils. Meanwhile, the other drawers had giant pads of paper - some with easels. They used a wide array of tools ranging from size and color to even charcoal. None of this made me feel very confident in what I was about to do. But that’s the cool thing about the group: they don’t require any skill level and everyone encourages each other. The same goes for the models.
The evening kicked off with five two-minute poses to get things warmed up. Then came a five-minute pose followed by a ten-minute one. The first hour rounds out with a twenty- minute pose. Then everyone takes a fifteen-minute break.
The fun thing about the two-minute and five-minute poses is that the models can be more dynamic in what they can do with their bodies. Once things ramp up to the ten or twenty- minute poses, they have to be a little more cautious and relaxed about it. Holding still gets astonishingly difficult with the longer you do it.
For the two-minute poses, Logan and Greg did not let us down. At one point, Greg even planked on top of Logan for the full two minutes. Do you know how hard a two-minute plank is?! I can’t do that!!! So, if I sensed any disappointment, it came from my own inability to get an arm or a leg or even a butt on paper in this short amount of time.
During the five and ten-minute poses, Logan straddled Greg and they lovingly gazed into each other’s eyes. It was sexy and sweet. With their getting comfortable being in the spotlight, my anxieties about drawing began to slip away too. I found myself at ease with the curves of these human shapes (including those butts).
For their first twenty-minute pose, they sat across from one another on the posing couch - an awesome antique once known as a “fainting couch.” Instead of trying to draw both of them, I focused just on Greg purely based on his positioning. With his side facing me, I wouldn’t have too much foreshortening (which apparently is a bitch to do).
By the end of this round, I actually started to feel proud of what I was generating. Sure, I made his neck gigantic and couldn’t finagle his hands, fingers, or feet to save my life. But you could at least tell he was a human being - or at the very least, a burly, handsome amputee. Maybe this drawing thing didn’t suck so badly after all.
The time came for the break which I desperately needed. My hand wanted a little rest after trying a little too hard that first round. Plus, I was hungry. Drawing can apparently work up an appetite. The group provides snacks, but I urgently scarfed down a burrito that I snuck in - hoping no one would see me eating the most ridiculous of all foods to bring to an erotic drawing group.
In the second round, they’d do one ten and two twenty-minutes poses. Things only got sweeter for Greg and Logan. They did a couple different takes on cuddling one another. You could occasionally hear them whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. Though technically I didn’t know if they were “nothings.” They could’ve been talking about the North Korean nuclear missile crisis for all I know. Either way, you could sense that they whispered about it with love.
Their whole dynamic came off more romantic than erotic, which can surprisingly be a nice change of pace sometimes. Sex can often overshadow love. And seeing them do this as a couple made me slightly envious.
My partner, being the private/slightly-more-reserved guy that he is, would never join me in such sexy, provocative ventures. Fortunately, he’s great about my desire to seek such thrills and gave me his blessing to do it with others.
After the evening would end, I’d ask Greg and Logan what they thought the differences might be posing as a couple vs with a friend (or possibly even a stranger).
“Being together almost five years, I’ve explored Greg’s sexy body many times over and know many of his best attributes to show off,” Logan said. “We’ve been able to try poses at home before stepping in front of the group.”
“There’s already chemistry there,” Greg added. “We’re already comfortable doing sexual acts or imitating them together. We don’t have to fumble around with someone new - feeling like a first date.”
Whenever I pose with a friend, it often does feel like we ARE fumbling around to figure each other out - despite the high sexual tensions. You never quite know what the other person is comfortable with. Is he okay with imitating doggy style in front of fifteen dudes? If so, does he want to be the top or the bottom? You’re both put on the spot to figure out in a matter of seconds.
I could also see how, if the models ended up in a position that didn’t feel natural or okay, the artists could sense it. And now being in the artist seat, I know that I wouldn’t necessarily want to draw hot naked men acting awkward. Though if “Hot Naked Men Acting Awkward” were the title of a new play, I would definitely want to go see that.
“Except I think a disadvantage to being a couple would be that you don’t get to build chemistry with another person during the session - going from holding each other’s hand to maybe a big finale,” Greg said. “Talking with the artists, it seems that they enjoy seeing the chemistry increase throughout the session.”
I guess this was where my posing with platonic friends had some leverage. Once we get past that first-date-fumbling-feeling, the two of us are ready to tear into each other by the final round. It makes you squirm with desire while trying to hold still like that. Sometimes you begin to move a hand or a mouth just enough to do something you’ve been dying to do. Although it makes it tough for the artists to draw, somehow, I don’t think they mind much at all.
But this didn’t necessarily mean that Greg and Logan, as a couple, couldn’t bring on a grand finale. For the first twenty-minute pose of the final round, they ditched the romance and went full-fledged for the erotic. Logan laid back. Greg straddled on top. A dick was grabbed. I’ll leave it at that.
I found myself getting completely flummoxed and desperately trying to sketch this while ignoring the tent that I totally just pitched in my own pants. Well, of course it was in my own pants. If I pitched it in somebody else’s pants, this would have been a very different kind of group.
With my heart robbing my brain of all its blood and shoving it down into my crotch, it suddenly became super difficult to concentrate. The other artists didn’t seem to have this problem. But me? Now I couldn’t draw those human curves anymore. My eraser started hitting the paper more than the graphite.
I wanted to just give up and enjoy the views. But I couldn’t just be some pervy weirdo - sitting there, watching while chewing a piece of gum (ya know… after that burrito I ate earlier). I had to draw SOMETHING! I remembered that earlier during a break, another artist gave me some advice to not be so literal in my drawings.
On that account, I figured, FUCK IT! If I can’t draw curves, then I’ll ONLY draw straight lines! Thus, in my sudden sexual frustration, I surprised myself in accidentally drawing bearded “Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots” riding each other cowboy style. With extra minutes to spare, I went ahead and added the chintzy game’s name to the page - just to make it official.
For their final pose, they kept things on the erotic side with a standing position - their hands on each other each while facing opposite directions. I decided to stick with my Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em theme as these robots would now be giving each other hand jobs. I added some robot hearts to bring back in their romance that I equally enjoyed before. Why not have the best of both worlds? I called it “Love Jobs.”
After their grand finale (which ended up being very grand), all the artists clapped and applauded Logan and Greg for their hard work (so to speak). I knew first-hand how exhausted they must have been, but in the best of ways.
To my surprise, I even felt exhausted as an artist. Who knew that drawing things could take so much energy? Though this might have been my own doing. I tend to hold my breath when I concentrate… or when I see good looking men without their clothes on… for three hours.
At the end, the organizer busts out a tip jar so that the artist can donate money to the models for their work. That’s another reason I enjoy doing this. I make good money with it.
Having been in bartending, I know the importance of a good tip. So even though I’m not yet making money as a writer, I still whipped out my twenty-dollar bill and shoved it hard and deep into Logan and Greg’s jar.
Everyone began checking out each other’s artwork - complimenting the weird interpretations just as much as the skilled talents. They laughed along with my oddball sense of humor and the robots. And I realized that, despite how much I dreaded having to draw, I had had such an incredibly fun evening.
You could see the joy on their faces at the end (among other things throughout the evening). With all of us having similar happy highs, it reminded me of an important factor of facing your fears: it’s often MOST fun when you do it with a group of great people - regardless of what it is you might be doing.
After having drawn, I’m excited to get back on the other side of this unique experience. Greg and Logan’s bang-up job certainly filled me with all sorts of new ideas. And my time to pose again is coming up here in a few months. This means, that soon here, I’ll have to find a new friend who’s willing to strip down and get very still with me.
Each time I pose with someone, it’s terrifying in the best of ways. I feel fortunate to not let the fear hold me back in things like this. I recommend it to anyone who wants to overcome a fear and discover that life doesn’t have to be boring. The rush and thrill are absolutely worth it.
So, if you are in the Denver/Boulder area and are interested in this experience, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with some photos and a message on why you’d want to do this. I can pass your info on to the group’s organizer. And who knows? Maybe we could pose together!
Thank you to Logan T. and Greg H. for allowing me write this essay and share their experience. You guys are awesome!
Edited by Glen Trupp
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